I also thought that my blog here was dead. But it’s just that I’m too busy. I wish to be a robot but have what human have, feelings. Sometimes I wished that a week can have 8 days Just 8. Because I need one day to at least rest. Or maybe spend time with the love ones. I’m soon to reached the stage of burnout. 7 days, every week is filled with important activities. How do I stop this? Dilemma.

I have work, FYP, school, band. And above all that since I’m getting my rest for 3 months from floorball due to the surgery, floorball with also involvein my schedule. On top of that, Bloco Singapura is performing for NDP. So every Saturday is burnt. After that it’s chingay. So tell me when can I stop this hectic schedule?

For some who know me, been 2 years now, I’ve search highs and lows. I put them to the test. And they failed. It’s hard to avoid the mistakes did over the years. And I’m tired. But this just one. Just one more. And if this fails too, I’m giving up. Nobody knows what’s on my mind. Syaza probably. She know me quite well. The test I’m putting up. You and me know.

What is your deepest fear?
“Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measures. It is our light not our darkest that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world that was nothing enlighten about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We were all meant to shine as children do. It’s not in some of us, it’s everyone. As we let our own life shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberate from our own fear. Our present automatically liberate others.”-Timo Cruz


PS: Though you’re still young, you’re a very strong individual. You even have the courage to tell me about your fear. But you’ve yet to be tested. It’s my way. Because to pick one is easy, to keep the right one is the challenge. All I’m doing now, right infront of you is are small tests without you knowing. I need you to come out from your shell and reveal yourself. That’s when choice will be made. For the record, you are one great strong individual. Looking forward to more surprises.

Cheers!
Emi

What begins have to end...

I really can't see myself working in another store and with different people. As much as i hate to, things doesn't always go your way. People say everything happens for a reason. And whatever you do, your life and future is already decided. But some may think that life is a choice that leads to your future. Either way. I believe.

I don't blame Dzul for the decision he made. He's like us too. Working under another man. As a matter of fact, its a reality check, he is a best man i ever work with. Don't worry Dzul, for the decision you made, i won't make you regret it. Memories were built in SB-CY. Good memories i can say. And maybe some bitter ones. But it grew me to a better someone. And Dzul, you should take the credit.

I will create a change in that new place. I'll create the brand in my shift. Dzul, i hope i'll get your support. And the rest too. That short moment i can't believe im leaving. Tears? You bet! That was really the first tears i let out since so long. My heart will stay at SB-CY.

Thanks Yusri dude, he opened the door for me to be in this family. And i didn't expect to be this close to you people. To my primary school dude, Syamim, you and yus thought me a lot. Damn a lot, to be a barista. A real Barista. Alimah babe, we came in at the same time bet what, you're the coolest to the coolest tudung girl!!

And for you, there is some communication break down ever since that. But at every moment in life, while I'm typing this down, people change. As much as i want us to be like how we were used to be, it need time. It's just me. As of 1st April, we will not be partners. Colleagues no more. I know you don't know my blog. Falling for you isn't what i plan for. Let it to some time, i believe it will be over me. I don't know about you but i really want us to be like before.

Reality check, I know i might not be a Cathay genjol, but i hope i will always be informed for the outings and all. Because SB-CY is one of my family. Having me, Izzat, Fiona, Faqir, Ifwat, and Taufiq in each and every of your mind is not what i asked for. And Partners of SB-CY, you guys may not always be in my mind all the time, but you guys are always in my heart.

...in a good or bad way.Like it or not, life is like a bitch.

For unexplained reason I love you for who you are…

For meeting you was a fate, becoming your friend was a choice made but falling for you was completely not in my control. For all I know that I was already in a quicksand, I harder I try to escape, the deeper I’ll just fall. I try to respect your decisions and do as what you asked for, but it’s a feeling that we are talking about here. Something that is unplanned for it to come something that you can’t get hold on to, easy to say, it’s uncontrollable.

For some reasons that I can’t truly know and find, the little-lest things and the tiniest words from you are in the back of my mind. The things I willing to know about you and the favorites and the nots are all store. I remembered it so well that I don’t why I’m doing it. The tiny actions that I do that you may overlook and not know, I think it’s all for you. You know the tiny actions like hmmm cutting your hair short just because you say it gonna be nice. And the maybe, the quitting of habits that you hated. It seems unexplainable.

I love you for what you are, for who you are and for you being yourself around me. Not the mask that you won’t put on just to show people about yourself which indeed not you. I love the way you talk to me, those smiles and laugh like a hyena that makes up you. Those natural looks and small eyes and the low unbridged nose that couldn’t hold any sunglasses. The only thing that hold the sunglasses are you cheeks.

And definitely I love that you have this insane way of talking in circle that makes perfect sense.

And I want to be the guy that’s running to you telling my feeling to you with out of breath

For you to know what you are is always know what you’re not.

…and I’ll try to distance myself as you wish for.

Love,

emi

When limelight of your days just chose not to light anymore...

I got nothing more to blog about because things are as bored as it used to be.

Oh, and RDP is going o have a photo shoot for the public.

...you days seems plain and empty and you got nothing to say.


Love,
emi

For some reason,you made me smile,

How captivating it was to see couples out on 14th and i amazed to see how love was actually in the air.
I need someone to love me, to comfort me and to pamper me. And i want to be in the mood of love.
It's just amazing how someone can really sacrifice for the love he wants.
Being loved or loving, which is better?
I don't know either. Some say being loved by someone is way better as you know you will get the attention all the time. And some say loving someone is better. Because its just the feeling that you have that can make you do things you actually never want to do and only see them on movies. It's still a mystery to me.

I want to fall in love, because i think i forgot how it feels like to be in one. Because i think this heart won't just give in and i know i have to start all over again from the start.

For some thing when you are in craze you tend to say out words without thinking.I tried my best to not let you be confused with my words but i am really bad at words. Its a lesson learn though. Because i can't backtrack to history and change my words, but what i can do now is settle it down. I was unhappy how the conversation ends because you were unhappy how it ends. The whole thing, you can blame me. All of it. What i want to do now is talk to you face to face so you can see my expressions.


...I can't explain

love.

With quoted saying, it means a lot.

"Love is about finding one thing that you really care about. That one special thing that mean more to you than anything else in the world. And when you find her, you fight for her. You risk it all. You put her in front of everything. Your future, your life, all of it. And maybe the stuff you help her isn’t so clean. Know what it doesn’t matter. In your heart you know, that the juices worth the squeeze. That’s what love is all about."- The Girl Next Door the movie.

"The is actually no bad person in this world, the person you are referring to are not called bad people. They are actually same like us. You and me. Just that this people than you are referring to made bad decisions. So there are no bad people, just bad decisions."-...

And if loving you is wrong, then i don't wish to be right.

Love
emi

Look into my eyes, and you decide...

I need signs. I'm still in a confused state. I think Miss A is referring to someone else. Or maybe not. I don't know.
It's a matter of feelings, where you can't force me to love someone that i don't want to. And you can't force me not to love when my heart is saying another thing. It's feeling, uncontrollable, yet can also be destructive.

When you want to fall in love, there isn't the right girl for you. But when you don't plan to fall in love, the girl just appear for you. That's when situation is conflicting.

I wish to be the knight behind the mask to save you at the top of the castle tower. Because its the same as the shrek. The ugly and the beast.

...if the love you see in my eyes is just a lie, we can say goodbye.

Love,
emi